What Happens in Vegas
by Brandi Golightly
Summary: During Tony's bachelor party weekend in Vegas, no one can quite remember what happened their first night there. The penthouse is trashed. There's a tiger in the bathroom. And why is the groom missing? In the style of The Hangover, 2009 film, with a touch of What Happens in Vegas, 2008 film. Movie-verse.
1. Welcome to Sin City

**So, this idea came to me while I was watching _What Happens in Vegas _last night (2008 film starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher) and I started thinking about what would happen if the Avengers went to Vegas. No doubt chaos is going to ensue. This story is going to be more like _The Hangover_ (2009 film starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis, who coincidentally has a small part in _What Happens in Vegas _as well) but with a touch of _What Happens in Vegas_ as well. This is going to be a multi-chapter fic, so get ready for the craziness! Enjoy!**

* * *

"Tony, don't do anything stupid this weekend," Pepper said firmly as Tony entered the living room of their penthouse at Avengers Tower.

"Pepper, did you seriously just tell him to not do anything stupid this weekend?" Natasha asked from behind the bar in the corner of the room where she was making herself a cocktail.

"Spidey's got a point," Tony said, pointing to Natasha. "And don't make yourself too at home Romanoff. You're coming with us."

"Excuse me?" the master assassin asked, arching one of her eyebrows.

"Well, I invited all of the Avengers to my bachelor party slash Stark Tower Las Vegas grand opening, and since you are an Avenger, you are coming," Tony demanded.

"I'm part of the bridal party, Stark," Natasha scoffed as she swallowed her cocktail in one gulp.

"I know you're just itching to go since Robin Hood's going," Tony taunted with a sly grin spreading across his face.

"For the thousandth time Stark, Clint and I are partners in our field of work. We are just friends outside of our jobs at SHIELD," Natasha said haughtily.

"Blah, blah, blah, keep telling yourself that but I can see that something's there. Anyways, you're going and that's final," Tony ordered.

"I'm not even prepared for a weekend away," Natasha said, folding her arms across her chest.

"Don't worry. I had Happy raid your quarters at the SHIELD base and pack a bag for you!" Tony said giddily. Almost as if on cue, the elevator pinged and its doors parted to reveal Happy, Tony's bodyguard and chauffeur. He had a duffle bag in one hand – no doubt containing Natasha's clothes – and a folder in the other. He stepped out of the elevator and Tony greeted Happy jovially.

Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. She was already regretting agreeing to be in Pepper and Tony's wedding. Though Natasha considered Pepper to be a dear friend, she was marrying Tony Stark for crying out loud. Natasha couldn't fathom how Pepper was able to handle Tony. He was like a five-year-old trapped in a grown adult's body.

Tony turned his attention back to Natasha and ordered that she tag along to Vegas for the weekend. "That's final!" he demanded.

Pepper sidled up to the bar where Natasha was currently making herself another cocktail. If she was going to be spending a weekend in Las Vegas with Tony and the rest of the Avengers, she was going to need to be drunk.

"Don't worry about it," Pepper said as Natasha crushed some ice. "Tony's just being Tony. I was probably just going to spend the weekend relaxing, enjoying the peace and quiet."

"Yeah, well, I hoped to do the same," Natasha grumbled.

"Clint's going," Pepper reassured her. "I know Tony teases you guys a lot about being secretly involved with each other, and I'm not insinuating that you are, but at least you'll have your friend there with you."

"Yeah, I guess so," Natasha said, and swallowed her second cocktail in one gulp once again. A few moments later, the elevator pinged and the rest of the Avengers filed out of the elevator and into the living room.

"Capsicle! Hulk! God of Thunder! Legolas! You're here! We can finally pack up and get this show on the road!" Tony said giddily. The rest of the Avengers groaned. Since the Battle of New York against Loki, the Avengers had been getting along a lot better than they did before. However, every once in a while, they had little spats. A minor detail about someone – usually Tony's incessant cockiness – would cause all of them to fly off the handle. At this particular moment, it didn't look as though their weekend was off to a good start.

Tony and Pepper's wedding had come at a particularly convenient time; convenient in the sense that Tony could have his bachelor party in Vegas. The new Stark Tower in Las Vegas was having its grand opening, and it gave Tony an excuse to have his bachelor party in Sin City. They would stay at the penthouse in the new Stark Tower, and then they'd hit the town to do some gambling and drinking. Then, come Sunday morning, they'd be jetting back to New York in time for the wedding.

Pepper crossed the room and stood in front of Tony, staring him down. "If I hear that you have destroyed _any_ part of Vegas, the wedding will be postponed. Do you understand me?"

"Crystal clear, Miss Potts," Tony said, raising his hand to his face to salute her. Pepper then turned to Happy and stared him down as well. "I am trusting you to keep him in line." Happy nodded, then turned to the rest of the Avengers. He signaled for them to follow him into the elevator and they descended to the main floor, where several town cars were waiting to transport them to the airport.

* * *

When Tony's private jet touched down at McCarran International Airport, every single commercial jet had been ordered to stay at their gates while Tony's private jet came in for landing. As they pulled up to a deserted unloading area, a crowd of media personnel swarmed the edge of the unloading area.

"Oh great," Natasha mumbled when she caught sight of the cameras and journalists.

"Fear not Spidey, I'm sure Robin Hood will shield you from the blinding flashes of the cameras," Tony said as the jet came to a halt.

"For the last time Stark, we _are not_ dating. And Natasha doesn't need shielding from the cameras," Clint said as he stood up and grabbed his bag from the floor.

The Avengers exited Tony's private jet and realized they had to plow through the crowd to get to the town cars that would transport them to Stark Tower. Tony led the group through the sea of cameras and journalists. As the various media personnel shouted out questions for Tony, Happy pushed away the cameras and stated that Tony will take questions later at the ribbon cutting ceremony of Stark Tower.

The Avengers piled into the private cars and the cars lurched forward to take them to Stark Tower. Despite Stark Tower having its grand opening later that day, the Avengers would still be able to sit down and relax in the penthouse suite of the tower before the ribbon cutting ceremony.

Just like when they got off of the airplane at the airport, there was a crowd of journalists surrounding Stark Tower when they arrived. Tony – in the first black town car of the convoy – was the first to exit and he waved at all the journalists and media personnel before being guided into Stark Tower by Happy. Once Tony was inside, Happy signaled for the rest of the Avengers to join them and they exited the vehicles, pushing through the crowd to enter the lobby.

The lobby of Stark Tower was outfitted with fountains and slot machines. Off in the distance, many of the Avengers could see casino tables, their dealers preparing for the night to come. Off to their left was a bar where some of the workers were relaxing with a cocktail before they had to return to their duties.

"Mr. Stark, it is a pleasure to see you again," said a woman in a black suit and jet black hair and she extended her hand for Tony to shake.

"My fellow teammates, this is Joan. She is the general manager of Stark Tower Las Vegas. If you need anything, bother her and not me," Tony said.

Joan let out a giggle. "Would you like to relax in the casino for a little bit before the ceremony or would you like to go up to the penthouse?"

"I think we'll go up to the penthouse. We still have to rest of the night to get ourselves into some crazy shenanigans," Tony stated, and then marched to the elevator.

"Shenanigans is right," Steve muttered under his breath.

The Avengers piled into the oversized elevator and rode it to the top floor: the penthouse. When the elevator doors opened, it was almost as if they were back in New York at Avengers Tower. The living was almost an exact replica of the living room back in New York.

"Have we been teleported back to the York that is new?" Thor pondered as the Avengers stepped out of the elevator.

"We have not, God of Thunder!" Tony said as he flopped down on one of the plush couches. "With my busy schedule, I just decided to keep everything the same for the Las Vegas tower, with the exception of the casino and the hotel rooms."

"What busy schedule?" Bruce asked sarcastically. "You do nothing all day except drink scotch and pester me to see if you can get the Other Guy to come out."

"Don't be so jealous Banner," Tony said, waving off his snarky comment.

The Avengers settled in to the comfortable living room furniture and began to relax from their flight. Both Steve and Bruce immediately drifted off to sleep, snoring lightly. Tony rushed off to the master bedroom at one point to call Pepper to inform her that they made it to the city safely. Thor stood by the vast glass window, examining the bustling cityscape below. Clint and Natasha sat on the couch, sitting close to each other, but not close enough that they were touching.

After a couple hours of relaxation, Tony announced it was time to get ready for the ribbon cutting ceremony. The men got dressed up in their suits while Natasha slipped herself into a black cocktail dress and a pair of strappy heels. At about six o'clock, they piled into the elevator and rode it to the main floor where Joan and Tony's friend, James Rhodes, were waiting for them.

In the hours that they spent up in the penthouse, the amount of journalists outside of the tower had multiplied. Every newspaper across the globe was represented while every tabloid magazine had about three representatives stationed at every exit around the tower.

When the Avengers stepped outside with Tony in the front, the crowd cheered with delight. Tony stepped up to the podium to give a quick speech before he cut the red ribbon that had been strung across the entrance. When he finished, Rhodes handed him a set of unusually large scissors and Tony cut the ribbon, which was met with a roar of applause.

The media swarmed the main lobby of the tower as the Avengers piled back into the elevator to go up to the penthouse.

"That was it?" Bruce whined.

"Joan will take it from here," Tony said nonchalantly. "Now, we party!"

* * *

The Avengers were confused when the elevator flew past the penthouse's floor and continued up to the top. The elevator pinged and the doors parted to reveal that they were on the roof of Stark Tower. Happy was already there, pouring glasses of champagne for the Avengers. Tony coaxed his teammates forward and they followed, gathering around Happy. Tony passed out the flutes of champagne and held his up in a toast.

"To my faithful teammates - ," Tony started but was cut off by Steve.

"Faithful? Hardly," he snorted.

"Fine, to my teammates who so graciously decided to join me this weekend - ," Tony said but was cut off by Natasha this time.

"I'm here against my will," she said, glaring at Tony.

"_Anyways_," Tony said, "thanks for coming."

The group brought their glasses together and they took a sip, downing the bubbly liquid.

"Now, for the good stuff," Tony said. He waved to Happy, who was leaning up against a wall, and Happy immediately rejoined the group. Happy handed him a bottle of alcohol, and the group caught sight that it was tequila.

"Now we're talking," Clint said as Natasha punched him in the arm.

Tony broke out the shot glasses and started to pour the strong liquid into the tiny glasses. He passed them around so that each of his teammates, along with Rhodes and Happy, had one.

"Here's to a weekend of hard partying," Tony said, as they brought the shot glasses together and then swallowed the strong liquid.

It didn't stop there. Shot after shot, the Avengers started to feel the effects of the tequila begin to take its toll. As the night wore on and the sun began to rise up, none of them were prepared for what the morning was going to bring.

* * *

**Uh oh! Next chapter will deal with the morning after: the hangover. I hope you guys like this! Let me know if it's worth continuing! Leave a review please!**


	2. The Hangover

**Alright everyone, get ready for the worst hangover the Avengers will ever experience! Enjoy!**

* * *

Steve woke up the next morning with his cheek pressed against the cold marble floor of the penthouse and a white sheet draped across his body. He groaned as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. Despite having the Super Soldier Serum in him, sleeping on the cold, hard marble flooring was excruciatingly uncomfortable. He reminded himself – drunk or sober – to never do it again.

Steve surveyed the scene around him and it did not look pretty. The couch was overturned while the pillows and cushions were strewn about the room. Some of them were still intact while others had the stuffing ripped out of them. The glass coffee table was shattered in pieces. There were colorful feathers sprinkled across the bar and the flat-screen television had suffered a gigantic gash right in the middle of the screen.

From behind the bar, Bruce sluggishly got to his feet but stumbled over a plastic wine cup. Steve swiftly turned his head to check out all the commotion, and found himself looking directly at Bruce's bare ass.

"Umm Bruce?" Steve hesitated to ask. Bruce looked down at his naked body, quickly covered his privates, and hastily ducked behind the bar to cloak his lower body.

Steve groaned as he pushed himself off the ground, stumbling over the sheet as his feet got tangled in it, and then walked over to an overturned chair and put it upright for him to sit in. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd had a hangover, or if he had ever had one. Currently, he felt fine. He didn't feel like he had to puke and his head didn't feel as if it was going to split in two so at least the Super Soldier Serum was good for something.

But, for the love of God, he couldn't remember a damn thing from last night! He remembered doing the shots of tequila on the roof of the tower, and then they went downstairs to do some gambling in the casino. When they grew tired of that, they got more drinks from the bar and then hit the town. They went to the Bellagio to do more gambling. Then that's where the details started to get a little fuzzy for Steve.

"I do not like this thing you Midgardians call a hangover," Thor announced as he padded into the penthouse living room. He was still wearing his jeans from last night and his button down shirt was hanging open to reveal his sculpted torso. "I must go to the room of bath."

Thor crossed the living room to the bathroom, kicking a blow-up inner tube for a pool out of his way. He pushed open the door of the bathroom, heading straight for the toilet. He stood there, doing his business, when out of the corner of his eye he noticed something move. Turning his head completely to the right, he noticed an orange tiger snarling and bearing his teeth at the demigod.

"What are _you_ looking at?" Thor taunted the tiger. The tiger roared at Thor's comment and Thor zipped up his pants with an irritated look on his face. "If you wanted your privacy, you should have said so. You didn't have to growl at me."

Thor marched out of the bathroom and joined Steve and Bruce – who was using the white sheet that was draped over Steve to cover his body until he could find some clothes – in the living room. He turned over a couch and gathered a couple of the cushions that were still intact, placing them on the couch, and then plopped down onto the couch.

"There's a cat of the jungle in the bathroom," Thor announced nonchalantly.

"Huh? What?" Steve asked with eyes wide from shock.

"I believe you Midgards call them tigers," Thor said matter-of-factly.

"I know what you meant the first time. What I don't understand is what is it doing in the bathroom?"

Thor opened his mouth to answer but he was cut off by a large crashing noise from one of the bedrooms. Thor, Steve, and Bruce immediately whipped their heads in the direction of the ruckus just in time to see Clint get flung on his ass. Natasha soon followed, scantily clad in a black lace bra and matching panties. She started throwing champagne glasses at him, many of them shattering into a thousand pieces on the marble flooring.

"You son of a bitch!" Natasha screamed as she chucked champagne glass after champagne glass at Clint, who was still lying on the floor, shielding himself from the projectiles.

"Nat, I'm sorry! I was drunk! _We_ were drunk!" Clint argued as he rolled to his side to dodge another champagne glass Natasha had thrown at him.

"We. Can't. Fucking. Be. Married!" she shrieked, emphasizing each word by throwing a champagne glass at Clint's head with force. Steve's jaw dropped and Bruce muttered a confused "What?" Thor just stared at them with a blank disposition.

"You think I don't know that?" Clint yelled. "We'll have to get it annulled. Fury can never find out!"

"Nothing gets past Fury dumbass. He probably already knows!" she screamed and then hurled two more champagne glasses at Clint. One shattered on the ground while the other hit Clint in the forehead right above his eye, cutting open the skin and letting the red blood flow down his face.

"Get dressed!" she ordered. "We're going to find someone to annul this marriage." Natasha stomped off towards the bedroom, slamming the door on the way in.

"The red head is not pleased," Thor stated once Natasha had disappeared into the bedroom. Clint got to his feet and placed his hand over the wound on his forehead to staunch the blood flow. He padded over to the bar and grabbed a couple napkins to wipe up the blood. Then, he joined Thor on the couch, sighing as he continued to apply pressure to the cut.

"Congratulations Barton!" Thor said, clapping Clint on the shoulder. "You're a married man!" Clint shot Thor a displeased look and then leaned his head back onto the couch.

"Fuck, I can't remember anything last night," Clint groaned.

"Well, I think Natasha made you remember pretty well as to what the two of you did last night," Steve said with a snicker.

"If you are implying that we fucked after getting married, you can go to hell Rogers," Clint shot back.

The Avengers sat in the living room in silence as they nursed their hangovers. Every so often, they heard the tiger in the bathroom move around or scratch at the door, but they had bigger problems at hand than a tiger being where it didn't belong.

None of them could remember a thing from last night. Each of their memories was blurry after they went to the Bellagio. Natasha probably only realized her and Clint got married when she got up and noticed the ring.

"I've never been this hungover before," Clint groaned as he pulled away the napkins and touched the wound on his forehead to see if it had stopped bleeding.

"Someone wake up Tony. I'm surprised he slept through that temper tantrum Natasha had," Steve ordered.

"I heard that," Natasha said as she padded across the living room towards the bathroom. She disappeared down the hall and the rest of the Avengers wondered if they should tell her about the tiger. Moments later, they heard a girlish squeal and Natasha scampered back into view.

"Why is there a fucking tiger in the bathroom?" Natasha asked angrily.

The Avengers shrugged and Natasha stormed off back to the bedroom, muttering angry Russian curse words under her breath.

"Hey, while you're at it, wake up Tony!" Steve called to Natasha.

"Go fuck yourself Rogers!" Natasha yelled and then she slammed the bedroom door.

"I'll go wake him up," Bruce said, pushing himself off of the chair he had been sitting on. He grabbed the sheet that was tied around his waist to make sure it stayed in place and then he dragged his feet to Tony's bedroom.

"What a bitch," Clint grumbled as he wiped more blood off of his forehead.

"Hey, welcome to married life," Steve teased.

"Rogers, you are just asking for me to shove my foot up your ass," Clint said and Steve shut his mouth.

"Hey guys," Bruce said, reappearing in the living room. "Tony's not in his room."

"Did you check the other bedrooms?" Steve asked and Bruce nodded in response.

Clint lazily pushed himself off of the couch. "I'll get my phone and call him."

Steve was about to ask if it was a good idea to disturb Natasha since she was so angry with him, but Clint knew that she should've calmed down by now. Clint padded down the hall to the bedroom, and when everyone in the living room didn't hear any arguing or shouting, they assumed Clint was in the clear. He appeared moments later with his phone pressed to his ear.

Suddenly, the Avengers heard the familiar ringing of Tony's iPhone. It continued to ring as Clint stayed on the phone, but the ringing ceased when Clint was sent to voicemail.

"Where is it?" Clint asked.

"Call it again," Steve ordered.

Clint redialed Tony's number and they heard his phone ring. Steve and Thor began to overturn the couches and toss the cushions and pillows around. Bruce searched around the bar, and called out a couple seconds later when he claimed to have found it.

"Uh oh," Bruce said when he noticed to amount of missed calls that were flashing across the screen. "There are two missed calls from Rhodey and four missed calls from Pepper."

The phone started to ring again and Bruce saw that the caller ID flashed Pepper's name. Bruce tossed the phone onto the bar as if it were a hot potato and then backed away from it.

"It's Pepper," Bruce hissed, pointing a finger at the phone.

"She can't hear you if you don't answer it, dumbass," Steve said, snatching the phone off of the bar. He hesitated to answer it but when he realized he didn't understand how it worked, he passed it off to Clint.

"Why are you handing it to me? I don't want to talk to her!" Clint said, raising his hands in defense.

"I don't know how to work these stupid phones. Just answer it for me and I'll talk to her," Steve demanded.

Clint took the phone, sliding his thumb across the screen, and then handed it back to Steve. He greeted Pepper with a perky hello.

"Steve? What are you doing answering Tony's phone?" Pepper asked.

"Oh, he's, uh, in the shower. He told me to answer any incoming calls on his phone in the meantime," Steve lied.

"I mean no offense by this Steve, but Tony asked _you_ to answer his phone?"

"Uh, yeah." Steve wasn't the greatest liar so this plan wasn't going well so far.

"Okay," Pepper said, the I-don't-quite-believe-you apparent in her voice. "When he gets out of the shower, tell him to call me."

"Sure thing, Miss Potts," Steve said, and then the line went dead. Steve felt Clint punch him in the arm but it barely hurt due to the serum that ran through his veins.

"We have no idea where Tony is and you just agreed to have him call her practically within a couple minutes," Clint said.

"Shut up Mr. Romanoff," Steve shot back. "We'll find Tony. He can't be far."

"Yeah, well, this is Tony Stark we're talking about," Clint said.

Suddenly, Natasha strode into the living room in a pair of skinny jeans and a black top. She barely looked hungover and she smelled like she'd just taken a shower to wash the stench of alcohol from her pores.

"Clint, put some pants and a t-shirt on. We are going to get this marriage annulled," Natasha demanded.

"Nat, for fuck's sake, would you chill? We can't find Tony. I think finding him is a little more important right now than getting a stupid marriage annulled," Clint said, throwing his hands up in the air in anger.

"Wait, what do you mean you can't find Tony?" Natasha asked, her eyes wide with condescension.

"He's not here. We can't find him and we can't contact him because his phone is here," Steve said, showing Natasha the phone.

"Have you called Rhodey? Maybe he's with Rhodey," Natasha suggested.

"Yes, excellent!" Steve said as he looked at the device as if it was a foreign object to him. Clint snatched the phone out of his hand and found Rhodes' number from Tony's contact list. The phone rang two times before Rhodes answered from the other end.

"Morning Rhodes, this is Clint Barton. I was wondering if Tony was with you," Clint said politely into the phone.

"Nope, he's not. I'm not even in Vegas anymore. I'm back in Malibu," Rhodes announced.

"Oh," was all Clint said.

"Is everything alright?" Rhodes asked, the concern in his voice apparent.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, this is just Tony, you know? He's probably just messing with us," Clint said, playing it off as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Okay, well, when you find him, have him call me. He has a lot of explaining to do," Rhodes said and then the line went dead.

"What is it with people and not saying goodbye?" Clint said as he stared at the phone and he shook his head, tossing the phone back to Steve.

"What about Happy?" Natasha suggested, folding her arms across her chest. "Where the hell is he anyways?"

Clint snatched the phone out of Steve's grasp without a word and dialed Happy's number. After a couple rings, Happy answered.

"Huh, what?" he answered groggily.

"Happy, is Tony with you?" Clint said quickly.

"Shhhh! You are speaking too fast and too loud," Happy whispered into the phone.

"Seriously Happy, focus. Is Tony with you?" Clint ordered.

"No, he's not. I'm on the roof of the tower and I can see the entire roof from where I'm sitting. He's definitely not here," Happy stated.

"Great," Clint grumbled. "Well, get down here to the penthouse now Happy."

"What's going on?" Happy asked.

Clint was about to answer when he heard a beep in his ear. He pulled the phone away from his ear to see that Pepper was on the other line. He pressed the phone back to his ear to talk to Happy.

"What's going on," Clint stated, "is we are so fucked."

* * *

**Uh oh! Where's Tony? And of course Clint and Natasha would wake up married! What else did you expect? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Let me know what you think of the Avengers being able to save the world but can't even conquer a measly little hangover.**


	3. The Wedding Chapel

**Okay, so we've got more shenanigans here. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Okay, so last night, we started off on the roof of Stark Tower doing those shots of tequila," Clint said as the group strolled down the Vegas Strip.

"Yes, I remember that. Then we went downstairs to the casino," Steve said.

"I think you won big Steve," Natasha said, contributing to the conversation. "I can't remember how much though."

"How are you totally normal? You're not hungover or anything," Clint said, looking at Natasha.

"I'm Russian. We don't get hungover. But I can't remember a damn thing from last night and that's the way I'd like to keep it," she scoffed. At that moment, they passed by the Paris hotel and casino and noticed a rather large hole in the Eiffel Tower replica. Construction personnel were already at work trying to fix it but by the looks of it, the structure needed to be completely demolished and rebuilt.

"Umm, Bruce, you don't remember…Hulking out last night, do you?" Steve asked with a gulp.

Bruce rubbed his eyes and then covered his face with hands. "God, I don't know. I can barely remember a thing after those shots of tequila." Everyone knew that Bruce was hard on himself whenever he Hulked out, and since it was pretty much out of his control last night, he was being especially hard on himself.

"It's okay Bruce," Natasha said, rubbing him on the back comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault. Just remember that you weren't you."

The Avengers continued to stroll down the Strip, noticing many of the people who passed by them were also nursing hangovers as well. The Last Vegas Strip wasn't as lively as it was at night, but cars still zipped by them on the road as the Avengers traveled down the Strip. Every so often, someone would recognize the Avengers and would wave to them or, in some cases, ask for their autographs. At one point, a little boy came up to the Avengers and was solely anticipating getting Tony's autograph, to which the Avengers replied with lame made up excuses.

"Oh he's very exhausted from the opening of Stark Tower last night," Steve explained.

"Yes!" Happy replied almost too enthusiastically. "He's exhausted. That's it."

The little boy had backed away slowly from the group and rejoined his parents off in the distance.

"Way to scare off the kid," Clint said, smacking Happy in the arm. The Avengers continued to walk down the Strip, trying to recount the events from last night. None of them could seem to remember what happened after the Bellagio. They knew for sure that Tony was still with them, so they had to figure out what happened between almost ten o'clock at night until eleven in the morning, when they woke up.

The Avengers stopped on the sidewalk when they reached Luxor hotel and casino. They stared up at the black pyramid to find a police car lodged into one of the faces of the hotel. Security, Las Vegas police, and construction workers were already hard at work at dislodging the police car from the pyramid. Many hotel guests were standing outside, talking to police on their accounts of the incident.

"I think we should get out of here," Steve suggested.

The Avengers slowly backed away from the site, walking back up the Strip to return to Stark Tower. Whatever they had done last night, they had really wreaked havoc on the city of Las Vegas. When they reached Stark Tower, they immediately went up to the valet to see if they could get a car to drive around town to search for Tony. The valet nodded and rounded the corner of the building to go to the car lot.

"Okay, so let's go over this again," Steve said. "We did the shots on the roof then went down to the casino. We got bored with that and then we went to the bar. We got a couple drinks then headed to the Bellagio."

"And that's where everything gets a little fuzzy," Happy moaned, sitting down on a bench and putting his head in his hands.

"But Tony was definitely still with us," Clint said as Natasha nodded in agreement.

"Hey, wait, check our pockets," Bruce suggested as he patted his pants pockets. The Avengers started to search themselves, pulling out various papers and items from their pockets.

"I have a receipt from The Little White Wedding Chapel for," Clint paused as his eyes opened wide with shock, "_almost $2,000!_"

"We got married! What the fuck else did we do?" Natasha said, snatching the receipt from Clint's hand. She examined the receipt and then handed it back to Clint. "Find the receipt for the ring. If I find out you spent less than $5,000 on this ring for me, I will kick your ass."

Clint frantically started to search for a receipt for the ring when a cop car pulled up to the valet. The Avengers instantly froze, and stayed that way, until they saw the valet get out of the car.

"Here's your car," the valet said, tossing Steve the keys when he rounded the front of the car.

"This is a cop car," Steve pointed out.

"No shit," Clint mumbled under his breath.

"This was listed under you guys' names," the valet said, shrugging his shoulders then walking off to help another patron.

"Let's just get in the car and not make a scene," Steve said as he rounded the front of the car to get in the driver's seat.

"I think I'm going to sit this one out," Happy said from the bench. "I'll stay in the room in case Tony shows up."

The Avengers nodded in agreement and then squeezed themselves into the cop car. It took a bit of effort, seeing as both Thor and Steve required a lot of space with their muscular build, but they managed to get in and drive off.

The Avengers decided they would start off at The Little White Wedding Chapel since it was really the only lead they had at the moment. They traveled to the outskirts of the Strip and searched along the road for the infamous wedding chapel. They saw the chapel approaching on the right side, and Steve cut the wheel sharply to the right and pulled into the parking lot.

With much effort, the Avengers tumbled out of the cop car and made their way into the chapel. Stepping into the chapel, it was every bit as tacky as the Avengers imagined it to be. There was cheap red carpeting lining the floor. Red velvet upholstered chairs lined the walls. Red roses were shoved into crystal vases.

"You really know how to pick them Clint," Natasha grumbled as they strode further into the chapel. They approached the front desk and Steve tapped the bell to signal for a worker. Within seconds, an elderly woman appeared at the front desk with a smile across her face. When she recognized the Avengers, she squealed and rushed around the desk to hug the Avengers.

"Oh my heavens, you're back!" the woman said. She gave each of the Avengers a hug. Natasha stiffened when the woman wrapped her arms around her and muttered, "Why is she touching me?" Clint snickered at Natasha's reaction but immediately received a hug from the woman as well when she finished with Natasha.

"Oh it's so good to see you guys again. You're here to pick up your wedding package right?" the woman said, turning to Natasha and Clint.

"Oh, umm, we were wondering if you could help us out. You see, we were hoping to get this marriage annulled," Natasha said.

Clint tapped her on the arm and shot her a nasty look. "Well, first, you know Tony Stark right?" Clint said, turning to the woman.

"Oh of course! Iron Man! He just opened up Stark Tower last night," the woman said.

"Yes, right! We were wondering…was he here with us when Natasha and I, umm, got married last night?" Clint asked uneasily.

"Oh yes, yes! He was here. He was the maid of honor!" the woman said excitedly.

"The maid of honor?" Natasha said angrily.

"Well, yes. Seeing as you are the only girl on the Avengers, you asked Tony to be the maid of honor."

The rest of the Avengers snorted a laugh while Natasha glared at the woman. Of all the guys she could have chosen to be her "maid of honor," she chose Tony, the Avenger she liked the least out of all of them.

"Anyways, I'll go get your wedding package for you," the woman said, disappearing in the back room. The Avengers started to wander around the chapel while they waited for the woman to reappear. They stared at pictures of celebrities on the wall that had come to visit and get married. There were pictures of Britney Spears, Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, and now, Clint and Natasha.

"Why the hell are we up on this wall?" Natasha sneered.

"We did save the world. I guess that makes us famous," Clint said as he stared at the picture of him and Natasha at the altar. They were both visibly drunk. The hairspray to keep Natasha's curls intact had apparently been wearing off since her curls were hanging loosely. Clint's tie was missing and his shirt was halfway unbuttoned. Natasha was sticking out her tongue while Clint was flipping off the camera.

"Of all the pictures they choose to put up here, they choose this one," Clint said shaking his head and then turned around just in time to see the woman hauling a large box out of the back room.

"What is all this?" Clint asked as the woman slammed the box down on the counter.

"The 'Love is in the Air' package. It includes over 200 photographs from the ceremony, the bouquet, a calendar of pictures from the ceremony, and…well, just have a look!" the woman said cheerfully. Clint reached out to open the box but Natasha smacked his hand.

"Don't touch that! Listen," Natasha said turning to the woman, "we need this marriage annulled ASAP. Do you do annulments here?"

The woman sighed. "Unfortunately, we do," she stated. "It's a shame. You two were just meant for each other. I saw the footage from the fight in New York. The way you two work together just says it all."

"Excuse me?" Natasha said.

"Easy Nat," Clint said, then turned his attention to the woman. "Look, umm…" Clint was trying to match a name and a face together. He couldn't remember a thing from last night so if he'd learned this woman's name last night, there was no way he remembered.

"Charlotte," the woman named Charlotte stated.

"Yes, thank you. Charlotte, we need this marriage annulled. Our line of work doesn't really allow us to be married," Clint explained.

"Understandable," she sighed then disappeared in the back room once again to grab the paperwork.

"You two look genuinely happy," Steve said as he shuffled through the photographs of their impromptu wedding.

"Put those back!" Clint said, snatching the photos out of Steve's hands and putting them back into the box. Charlotte appeared with the paperwork in her hands and slapped it down on the counter with two pens.

"Alright, all I'll need is a couple signatures - ," she started but never finished due to the cops breaking down the front door.

"Nobody move! Hands in the air!" the pair of cops shouted as they pointed their guns at the Avengers. The Avengers whipped around and their hands instantly shot up in the air, except for Thor's.

"How dare you point a weapon at the son of Odin!" Thor boomed.

"Thor, just put your goddamn hands in the air!" Natasha hissed.

"Everyone shut the fuck up!" one of the cops yelled. "You're coming with us. Cuff them!"

Several cops appeared with handcuffs from behind the pair of cops, one for each of the Avengers. Natasha rolled her eyes as the cops placed the cuffs around her wrists. Bruce and Steve looked visibly shaken while Thor continued to argue that they cops shouldn't touch him.

"Are you going to tell us what we're under arrest for?" Clint asked, wincing as the cuffs pinched his skin.

"Disorderly conduct, destroying famed landmarks in the city of Las Vegas, and worst of all, stealing a police car!" the one cop said with his gun still pointed at the group.

"How is stealing a cop car worse than destroying landmarks?" Bruce muttered under his breath as the cop pushed him forward. The Avengers were led outside where several cop cars were stationed, one each to take the Avengers separately to the police station. They began shoving everyone into the backseat of their respective police cars.

"Hey, watch it!" Natasha said when the cop touched an inappropriate spot on her body.

"Watch your hands! That's my wife!" Clint said as the cop that was wrangling him pulled him towards a separate cop car.

Natasha rolled her eyes as the cop lowered her head into the car. The rest of the Avengers were loaded into the cars and they headed off to the police precinct.

* * *

**Uh oh! The Avengers are in trouble! Think Fury knows already? If he does, do you think he'll get the Avengers out of this mess, or leave them alone to figure it out themselves?**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Therefore, review away! Let me know what you think about the destruction of Las Vegas, the visit to the wedding chapel, their cop car stealing shenanigans, and getting arrested.**


	4. Taser Trouble

**Alright, we've got some crazy shenanigans this chapter. Enjoy!**

The Avengers sat in a row of chairs, handcuffed to one another, at the police precinct. The officers at the precinct had given each of the Avengers one free phone call but the Avengers had yet to make those phone calls. No matter who they called, they were going to be in deep shit. They couldn't call Happy back at the tower because he was in just as much trouble as they were. Pepper would be so furious that Tony hadn't called her back yet that she probably wouldn't even care if the rest of the Avengers were in jail. The only person that was left was Fury, and they doubted they could even reach the SHIELD base from the measly payphone they were instructed to use.

After much deliberation, Steve decided to take one for the team by calling Fury himself. As he got up from his chair, he pulled his teammates along with him. Steve tugged at the handcuff on his wrist – dragging his teammates along with him – and made his way over to the payphone a couple feet away.

Steve dropped his coin into the slot and dialed the only number he knew to contact the SHIELD base. It wasn't a direct number and he would have to be patched through an operator before he actually got a hold of Fury, but it was the only way he knew to contact him. When the operator answered, he asked to be patched through to Fury at the SHIELD base in New York City. When the operator asked Steve to state his reason, Steve only responded with a measly answer about the destruction of Las Vegas.

The operator told him to hold and classical music started playing. Steve knew he didn't have long until time ran out on the payphone. Just when he thought the phone was about to cut off, Fury answered and Steve quickly blurted out everything he could recall from the last 24 hours.

"I know, Captain. Why do you think I haven't contacted any of you?" Fury said once Steve had stopped rambling.

"Wait, so you know?" Steve asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Of course I know! I haven't contacted any of you because I'm trying to clean up _your_ mess," Fury said angrily. "And it seems like you aren't trying to fix anything yourselves because you're currently at Las Vegas Police Department precinct number 21."

"What are you doing? Tracking us?" Steve asked.

"No, you came up in the criminal database as we were working on clean up for Las Vegas," Fury said bluntly.

"So, you're not going to help us at all?" Steve asked disappointedly.

"You can save the world from Loki and his army. I think you guys can get yourselves out of a bit of a mess with the Vegas police."

Steve nodded and heard Fury about to hang up when Steve shouted for him to wait. "Stark doesn't happen to…be at the base, is he?" Steve said uneasily.

"I know he's not with you guys," Fury said. "So where is he?"

"We don't know. We're extremely hungover and we can't remember a thing from last night. When we woke up, Tony wasn't with us."

Fury let out a string of curses and Steve pulled the phone away from his ear. "This isn't my fucking problem! Figure it out yourselves!" With that, Fury hung up and the line went dead. Steve slammed the phone back into its holster and motioned for his teammates to return to their seats.

As Steve sat down, he began to debrief his teammates on his phone call with Fury. Bruce and Thor sat in silence as Steve recounted his conversation with the one-eyed director of SHIELD, while Clint looked angry. Natasha rolled her eyes at her partner as he angrily let out a string of curses to express how he felt about the entire situation.

"Well what the fuck did you expect? This is Fury we're talking about, Clint," Natasha said to him once he calmed down.

Steve was about to mention how Fury didn't even care to help find Tony when a police officer came out to shepherd them into an interrogation room. Steve got up and dragged him teammates along with him as he followed the officer down the hall. They were directed into a room with five chairs on one side of a table and two chairs on the other. The police officer unlocked the handcuffs and ordered them to sit down and wait for the police officers that arrested them to show up.

The Avengers each took a seat and waited in silence for the police officers to enter the interrogation room. After a couple minutes, the officers entered the room in silence and sat down in their chairs, the legs of the chairs scraping across the floor as they pulled them out. Both officers checked over their notes in silence before addressing the Avengers.

"Okay, good news and bad news," the male officer said. "The good news is…we're big fans." The female officer nodded in agreement. "The bad news," the male officer continued, "is we can't get you in front of a judge for another week. We can let the destruction to the city slide because you practically did the same thing to New York City not too long ago, but stealing a cop car and disorderly conduct is absolutely unacceptable."

"Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me!" Clint whined from Natasha's right.

"Easy Katniss," the male officer said. When the officer caught the look on Clint's face, he said, "Yeah, you're the one with the bow and arrows right?"

"Look, officer. We have a wedding to be at on Sunday. Not only can we not be detained here for an entire week, we have to find the groom for said wedding. Is there any way we can get released and then come back next week?" Steve finished his spiel and then tacked a huge grin onto the end of it. The female officer pursed her lips and then rustled through the papers on the desk. She checked over the paper and then slid it sideways to her male partner. He read the paper and then guffawed, the sound echoing throughout the room.

"Oh this will be too good!" the male officer exclaimed. He composed himself, and looked at the Avengers. "So, I'm not really going to ask your permission for this. If you can defeat those alien creatures that wreaked havoc on New York City, I'm pretty sure you can handle this. Come with me."

The male officer got up from the table and then headed towards the door, motioning for the Avengers to follow him. One by one, the Avengers rose from their seats and filed out of the interrogation room to their doom.

* * *

"Today we are going to demonstrate the use of the Taser," the male officer announced to a room filled with school kids. "And today, we have some very special guests! Please welcome, the Avengers!"

The school kids started to cheer as the Avengers filed into the room one by one. Bruce was shaking as soon as the male officer announced that they were going to demonstrate the use of the Taser on them. He had already let the Other Guy win last night by wreaking havoc on the city of Las Vegas. The last thing he wanted was for the Other Guy to come out in the presence of small children.

"Okay, so there's the simple close contact use of the Taser…" the male officer trailed off as he pressed the Taser gun to an unsuspecting Clint and watched as he convulsed then crumpled to the floor when he retracted the gun. The male officer moved onto Natasha but she grabbed his wrist and squeezed as hard as she possibly could.

"Come near with that and I break your wrist," Natasha said icily. The male officer gulped and his eyes flitted over to Bruce, who was standing next to Natasha. Natasha noticed that the male officer was looking at Bruce so glared at him and pursed her lips. "Touch Bruce with that Taser and you will sincerely regret it. Got it?" The officer nodded and put the Taser gun on the table and composed himself before turning back to his audience.

"Then there's also the gun with the cartridges that you can shoot from a distance," the officer announced as he loaded the cartridge into a separate Taser gun. "You, Star Spangled Banner, get over here." The officer motioned for Steve to join him. Steve sidestepped past Natasha who was currently trying to coax Clint out of unconsciousness.

"Now, I'm just going to take a couple steps back, aim, and fire," the male officer said, stepping backwards. Once he reached his position, he aimed his gun at Steve, who furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Wait, what are y - ," Steve started but didn't get to finish because he was hit in the groin with the most intense pain he'd ever felt. He convulsed at the shock that was sent throughout his body and he fell to the floor in pain. The pain stopped when the officer stopped the shock waves by releasing his finger from the trigger.

As Steve lay on the floor catching his breath, he heard his audience laughing uncontrollably. It was a form of torture in the cruelest and stupidest way possible. But there was nothing they could do about it. The Avengers needed to do this to get out of this mess and this was the only way possible.

"Alright pretty boy, get up and get out of the way. We have one more demonstration," the male officer said. Steve grunted as he pushed himself off of the floor. He hoped the Super Soldier Serum would kick in soon and heal him. He didn't like the feeling he had right now.

"Alright, last cartridge," the male officer announced to the school kids. "Does anyone want to try it out on the big guy over there?" The school kids were immediately excited as their hands shot up in the air to volunteer. The male officer scanned over the kids and picked a boy from the back of the room.

Rising from his chair in the back of the room, the Avengers recognized the boy as the boy they met earlier who wanted Tony's autograph. Thor stepped up to the front of the room to confront the boy but was met with an intense gaze. The boy was handed the Taser gun and immediately pointed it at Thor, but hesitated to pull the trigger.

Thor narrowed his eyes to slits as he stared at the boy and the boy stared right back. The boy aimed the Taser gun at several different places, ultimately letting it fall between Thor's eyes. Before the boy pulled the trigger, he stuck his tongue out at Thor and let it go. When the shocks hit Thor, he felt like he could only be slowed down but not completely incapacitated. He took a step towards the boy and shouted, "You dare take down the mighty Thor!"

A girl seated in the first seat shrieked as Thor took a couple more steps towards the boy. Thor was stumbling towards the boy but the male officer just chuckled as he whipped out another Taser gun.

"The bigger guys sometimes just need a little something extra." He brought the second Taser gun to Thor's neck, shocking him and letting him crumple to the ground in a heap. The school children, along with the male officer, laughed at the demigod's vulnerability.

"Okay kids, who wants to get their fingerprints done?" the male officer announced to the school children. The kids rushed out of their seats and out the door, leaving the male officers and the Avengers alone in the room.

"You can go see Sheila at the front desk about the paperwork to get you released," the male officer said to the Avengers, and with that, he exited the room.

The Avengers stared at the male officer as he left the room, completely confused as to what exactly just happened.

* * *

**Uh oh! So Fury knows and doesn't really care. The Avengers apparently can't take on a little Taser. And Tony's still missing.**

**In case you're interested, I just started another story titled _You Belong With Me_ about Clint and Natasha. It's an AU fic and it's based off of the song by Taylor Swift. There's never any pressure for you to check out any of my stories but in case you would like to check it out, go right ahead.**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Therefore, review away! Let me know what you think of the crazy Taser showdown.**


	5. Thor's Confession

**The Avengers have a bit of an interesting car ride back to Stark Tower after being released from the precinct. I know this chapter is kind of short, but I haven't updated in a while so I figured I should give you guys something instead of nothing. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Fuck that! Fuck them! We stole a police car and I'm proud of it! I'm telling everyone!" Clint exclaimed during the car ride back to Stark Tower. After they had been released from the police precinct, they called Happy to come get them. He had arrived almost 20 minutes later in a car that had also been registered in their name with the valet. At least this time around, it was an average black town car that was roomy enough to transport all of the Avengers back to Stark Tower. Apparently, it was the same car they had used the previous night before they stole the police car.

"Clint, shut your fucking mouth," Natasha grumbled from beside him. "And I highly doubt you need to tell everyone. It's probably already all over the fucking news."

"Will you two shut up? You're giving me a headache!" Happy shouted from the driver's seat. Happy looked better than he did when they had left him to go to the wedding chapel, but their incessant shouting probably wasn't making his hangover any better.

Steve squirmed from the other end of the back seat, shoving Bruce lightly. "Natasha, sit in your husband's lap. Then we'll have more room," Steve pleaded.

"Go to hell, Cap," Natasha shot back.

"Why does Thor get to sit up front in the comfortable passenger seat by himself? I'm just as big as him," Steve whined.

"God, you guys are like four-year-olds!" Happy exclaimed, his grip on the steering wheel getting tighter.

"Wait, I'm sitting on something," Bruce said, as he squirmed to pull out the item from behind him. Natasha scowled as Bruce pushed her closer to Clint to pull out the item from behind him. In Bruce's hand was a simple black boot.

"Whose is that?" Steve asked.

"I don't know. None of us own a pair of shoes like these, right?" Bruce asked as he examined the shoes. He flipped the shoe around and his eyes grew wide. "Oh my God, disgusting!" He dropped the boot and it landed on the floor of the car with a _thud_.

"What? What is it?" Natasha asked.

"There's a…a condom stuck on the bottom!" Bruce exclaimed as he flailed around out of disgust.

"What? Oh my God, let me see!" Clint said as he leaned forward to pick up the boot. He stretched his arm out but Natasha slapped his hand.

"Don't touch it, dumbass!" Natasha scolded. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Steve reach out and pick up the boot. He flipped it over to check out the sole of the shoe.

"What? This?" he said, pulling the used piece of rubber off of the shoe. "It looks like a snake skin."

"Oh my God, he touched it! I'm going to throw up!" Natasha said, half gagging. Steve examined the item and then tossed it onto Happy's shoulder.

"What the fuck? Rogers, get it off of me!" Happy yelled as he twitched his shoulder to get it to fall off. The Avengers laughed as Happy struggled to get the item off of his shoulder without touching it. A couple times, Happy swerved the car as he struggled to get the item off of his shoulder, but he eventually pinched it between his thumb and forefinger and tossed it out the window. He let the car coast to a deserted lot outside of the Strip and then slammed on the brakes to make the Avengers learn a lesson. They groaned out of discomfort as gravity pulled them forward but relaxed against the seats once again when the car was put in park.

"Get it together guys!" Happy shouted. At that moment, they heard the sound of someone pounding on the car.

"Wait, do you guys hear that?" Steve asked, signaling for them to quiet down. They listened one more time as the pounding continued.

"The trunk! Tony's in the trunk!" Bruce exclaimed. Bruce started pushing Natasha as Clint fumbled with the handle. They fell out of the car when the door opened and they rushed around to the trunk. Happy appeared with the keys and popped it open. Out of excitement, they wrenched open the trunk to find Tony, but were surprised to find someone else.

Out jumped an Asian man without any clothes on. He had one boot on and he was swinging a crow bar around, as if he was ready for combat. The Avengers stared at him in awe as he swung the crow bar around. That's when he lunged for Steve and started whacking him up the side of the head with the crow bar. He produced one more blow directly to the groin before turning his anger over to Bruce.

Bruce backed up with his hands up in defense. "Hey, okay. Calm down," Bruce said calmly.

The man just swung his crow bar around as he stared down Bruce. Bruce carefully backed away from the man in fear that if he attacked him, The Other Guy would come out to play. Clint stepped in front of Bruce; clearly he didn't want The Other Guy to make an appearance either.

"Okay, just put the crow bar down," Clint said. The man screamed and chucked the crow bar at Clint, hitting him in the groin, before running off in the direction of the Strip. Clint's legs buckled as he sucked in a breath of air to deal with the painful blow that had just been delivered to him. "I didn't mean throw it at me," he groaned as he collapsed on the ground.

Natasha patted him on the back and said, "Just breath Clint. You'll be fine." She turned back to Steve to see if he was okay, but she knew better. Whatever beating he had received from that guy, the Super Soldier Serum had already taken care of the job.

"Shall I chase the man that possessed the bar of crow?" Thor boomed.

"No Thor, that won't be necessary," Natasha said as she bent over to help Clint up from the ground.

"I believe I have a confession to make, fair teammates," Thor said.

The Avengers looked up at the demigod in confusion. Thor's disposition was the same as it always was but his eyes were apologetic.

"Well, what is it, Thor?" Steve asked.

"I believe I am the reason we cannot remember what happened last night," he confessed. "I am truly sorry."

"What are you talking about Thor?" Natasha asked as she steadied Clint.

"I gave us these things that I thought were candy. He said they were ecstasy candy so I bought them because I thought they would be delicious," Thor explained.

"_You did what?_" Natasha shrieked.

"Oh my God, Thor. Run!" Bruce said, cowering behind Steve.

"I'm not going to kill him. I am going to strangle him until he loses consciousness!" Natasha shrieked as she lunged forward to attack Thor, but Clint grabbed her hand and pulled her back. Natasha struggled against Clint's restraint, but he still managed to keep her from attacking Thor.

"Thor, you gave us ecstasy? Do you even know what that is?" Steve asked.

"Apparently not, Cap," Clint grumbled as he still struggled to keep Natasha from attacking Thor.

"Well that's why we can't remember anything," Bruce said calmly.

"I am deeply sorry, my fair teammates. I can understand if you would like me to return to Asgard permanently," Thor said.

"Not before I shove my foot up your ass!" Natasha threatened coldly.

"Nat, stop it!" Clint ordered the red head and then turned his attention back to Thor. "Look, Thor, I'm not saying we're okay with it, but we have worse problems to worry about right now. Tony's still missing and we apparently kidnapped some random guy last night and shoved him in the trunk."

"Okay, let's just stay calm and get the hell back to Stark Tower," Steve said. The Avengers made their way back to the car and piled back in. The Avengers sat in silence on the car ride back to Stark Tower with the exception of one snide comment from Happy.

"If there are anymore used condoms back there, I will have Tony kill you all when we find him."

* * *

**I really hope that wasn't too inappropriate for a T rating haha. And for those of you who have seen _The Hangover_, you know who was in the trunk. For those of you who haven't seen it, you'll find out soon enough. Also, if you've seen _The Hangover_, you know what drugs they _really_ ingested. Stay tuned to find out about this tangled web the Avengers have weaved for themselves.**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Therefore, review away! Let me know what you guys think of their car ride back to Stark Tower, the showdown against the mystery naked man, and Thor's confession that he gave them ecstasy because he thought they were candy.**


	6. The Boxer and The Tiger

**Alright, we've got some crazy shenanigans in this chapter. It's a little longer than past chapters have been so I hope you guys like it. And for those of you that ship Clintasha/Blackhawk, I threw in a little something for you guys. Enjoy!**

* * *

The Avengers piled their way into the elevator in Stark Tower to go back up to the penthouse. They'd been arrested, abused, and beaten in a short amount of time since they woke up this morning. They'd saved the world for Christ's sake, but they weren't quite sure how much they could take. All they wanted to do was find Tony and get the hell out of Sin City.

"What are we going to do about the tiger in the bathroom?" Bruce muttered from the back of the elevator.

"We forgot about the tiger!" Steve exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in defeat.

As the elevator reached its pinnacle, it dinged to signal it had reached the penthouse and the door slid open. Immediately, the first few bars of Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" echoed throughout the penthouse. The Avengers looked at each other in confusion as they tried to rack their brains to remember if they left the stereo on before they left. They remembered that Happy was the last person in the penthouse and they turned their gazes on him.

"Don't look at me! I didn't touch anything," Happy said defensively. The Avengers took a couple more steps into the apartment and found two rather burly guys guarding someone seated at the piano. It was almost as if the man seated at the piano could sense the Avengers' presence, for he turned around to look at them. The Avengers were shocked to see that it was Mike Tyson. Clint and Bruce were about to open their mouths to say something when Mike Tyson put a finger up to signal them to stay quiet.

"I love this part," he said as he began to sing along. As he started singing along, he signaled for the Avengers to join him. Clint, Bruce, Natasha, and Happy started singing along as Thor and Steve looked at the group in confusion. The music started to build up until it reached the explosive burst of drums. Mike Tyson mimicked beating on a drum set, and then sent a right hook right into Clint's face, knocking him unconscious.

"Hey, what the hell?" Bruce said as Natasha rushed to Clint's side to slap him back into consciousness.

"Shall I terminate this man? He is a threat to the team!" Thor boomed.

"No, no, Thor, just…hang on a second. Mr. Tyson, big fan. _Big_ fan!" Bruce exclaimed. Natasha rolled her eyes at Bruce as she continued to slap and shake Clint back into consciousness. "Your fight against Holmes, knocked him out. Classic!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," one of the burly bodyguards said, brushing off Bruce's praise. "Mr. Tyson would like to know why his tiger is in your bathroom."

"Y-your tiger?" Bruce asked nervously.

"Yes, my tiger," Mike Tyson responded.

The Avengers looked at each other, as if trying to find some sort of excuse for kidnapping Mike Tyson's tiger.

"Look, Mr. Tyson, we are very sorry, but we were really drunk last night. We did some stupid stuff. We still don't exactly know what happened last night," Steve explained.

"I don't give a shit if you were fucked up or not. I just want my tiger back," Mike Tyson deadpanned.

"Bring it back to his house by eight o'clock tonight," one of the burly bodyguards said. Mike Tyson and his bodyguards headed towards the elevator to leave.

"Wait!" Steve shouted. Mike Tyson and his guards stopped dead in their tracks as they turned around to face Steve. "How do you expect us to get him back to your house? He's a _tiger_!"

"I don't give a shit. You got him out of my house last night, so I'm assuming you can get him back. Besides, you're the Avengers. You defeated those aliens that attacked New York. I think you guys can handle a tiger," Mike Tyson said. He snapped his fingers as if to tell his bodyguards to follow him to the elevator. The Avengers watched as Mike Tyson and his two bodyguards piled into the elevator and disappeared once the doors closed.

Natasha turned her attention back to Clint and gave him one more slap across the face. Clint shook his head as he groggily awoke from unconsciousness.

"What happened? What did I miss?" Clint asked. "Did we get Tyson's autograph?"

* * *

It felt like the Avengers sat around for hours, contemplating how they were going to get the tiger to Tyson's house. Not to mention how they were going to get it out of Stark Tower unnoticed. It was bound to throw a fit the moment they set foot near it in the bathroom, so getting it through the lobby of Stark Tower was going to be a challenge.

"I got it!" Steve said, snapping his fingers. "Thor, do you still have those drugs?"

"I believe I do. They should be in my room of bed," Thor said as he sauntered off down the hall to check his bedroom for the bag of ecstasy. Once he disappeared down the hall, Steve looked over at Clint and Natasha. Natasha was icing the spot on Clint's face where Tyson had hit him. Steve knew they didn't want to admit it, but being married to each other probably wasn't such a bad idea. Every so often, Steve saw Clint's eyes flit to Natasha's and they would hold each other's gaze briefly. The Black Widow could be a cold-hearted person, but not to Clint. If she wanted to annul the marriage, it was just so they could keep up appearances. Deep down, Steve believed that they _wanted_ to be married to each other.

"I found the candy!" Thor announced when he returned to the living room. He deposited the bag into Bruce's lap. Bruce gingerly grabbed the plastic bag and held it up to his face to examine the drugs. His eyes grew wide when he realized what was _really_ in the bag.

"Thor," Bruce said calmly, "this isn't ecstasy. This is rohypnol."

"Please explain to me in Midgardian language, my friend," Thor said.

"This isn't ecstasy, Thor. These are roofies, otherwise known as the date rape drug," Bruce explained.

"I raped my friends?" Thor asked, his eyes growing wide with concern.

"No, no Thor," Bruce said. "These drugs knock you out so that you don't remember anything."

"_You gave us roofies?_" Natasha screeched, dropping the ice pack for Clint's face on the floor.

"That's why we can't remember anything," Steve muttered.

"_Thor, you better start running_," Natasha said through clenched teeth.

"Nat, calm down," Clint said. He leaned forward to grab the ice pack from the floor and placed it back on his face. He grabbed Natasha by the wrist and she turned her head to face him. When her eyes met his, his mouth turned up into a small smile and she returned the gesture.

"Okay, we'll sort our personal problems out later. First, we have to find a way to drug the tiger," Steve mused.

"Do you think room service will give us raw meat?" Bruce asked.

"Who knows? Let's call and find out," Clint asked as he reached over the bar to grab the phone. He dialed room service and waited for someone to answer. When someone answered, Clint immediately asked if it was at all possible for them to send up raw meat. The woman on the other end sounded extremely skeptical but said it was possible. Clint thanked the woman and the rest of the Avengers waited for room service to deliver the raw meat.

When room service arrived, Steve answered the door, trying to shield the damage of the penthouse to a minimum. He took the plate of raw meat and thanked the man, before hastily shutting the door. Steve put the plate in front of Bruce, who was dumping a pile of drugs into his hand. As soon as Steve put the plate in front of him, Bruce began pressing the drugs deep into the raw meat. Once about eight pills had been pressed into the raw meat, Bruce leaned back into the couch and looked at his teammates.

"Well? Who's going to feed it to him?" Bruce asked.

"I shall feed the tiger," Thor said as he picked up the plate and headed to the bathroom. With his shoulder, he pushed open the door and came face-to-face with Mike Tyson's tiger. They stared at one another for a couple of seconds before the tiger roared and bared its teeth. Thor growled at him before pushing the raw meat off of the plate. It landed with a sickening splat on the floor and the tiger immediately walked forward to sniff the meat. Thor quietly backed out of the bathroom, slowly closing the door to the bathroom with a _snick_.

"Simple, my fair teammates," Thor announced when he walked back into the living room.

"Just like that? He ate it?" Bruce asked.

"No, he sniffed it," Thor stated. The Avengers groaned as they realized that they still had to play the waiting game.

* * *

Within the hour, the Avengers heard the tiger keel over with a moan. In the meantime, they had swiped a luggage cart from the lobby and brought it up to the penthouse. There was no way they would be able to get a passed out tiger through the lobby unnoticed, so the best thing they could think of was to load him onto a luggage cart and cover him with a sheet. They listened at the door of the bathroom for a couple minutes to make sure the tiger was passed out. Then, Steve and Thor both entered the bathroom to carry out the tiger and load him onto the luggage cart.

"Watch it!" Happy said when they hit the tiger's head on the doorframe as they rolled the cart onto the elevator. All of the Avengers were on edge as they stood in the elevator during its descent. Bruce was pretty sure they'd given him enough drugs to keep him knocked out, but that didn't mean they weren't on edge for fear that the tiger would wake up.

When the elevator reached the main floor, they quickly rolled the luggage cart out of the elevator. Steve hurried ahead of them to get a valet's attention. When the rest of the Avengers met Steve outside, the valet was pulling an SUV up to the curb. Steve handed the valet some cash for his services and then waved him off so the Avengers could load the tiger into the back of the SUV without someone watching.

When the tiger was loaded into the back of the SUV, the Avengers piled into the car and headed down the freeway to Mike Tyson's house. While they were waiting for the tiger to pass out, they had called down to the front desk to see if anyone knew where Mike Tyson lived. Since they couldn't remember a thing from last night, there was no way they remembered where Mike Tyson lived. One of the girls at the front desk had previously worked for Tyson so she gave them detailed directions.

The Avengers sat in silence as they raced down the freeway to Mike Tyson's house. They were exhausted. They were hungry. They were still slightly hungover. And they still hadn't found Tony. They weren't quite sure how much they could take.

None of them were really paying attention when the tiger awoke from its drug-induced slumber. They just thought something was going on with the car.

"Hey, did you guys hear that?" Clint said from the driver's seat. He glanced up into the rearview mirror and his eyes grew wide when he saw the tiger standing up. "You guys, stay calm."

Natasha, Steve, Thor, and Happy – who were all squished into the back seat – turned around to see the tiger's dark eyes staring right back at them. Natasha squealed while Happy let out a girlish scream. The tiger roared in response to Natasha and Happy and it began to claw at the seat.

"Clint, stop the damn car!" Natasha ordered as the tiger took a swipe at her shoulder. The tiger wreaked havoc on the SUV as it kicked the windows and chewed at the headrests. Happy was curled into a ball on the floor of the car as he cried like a baby. Steve tended to Natasha's cut on her shoulder while he shielded her from the tiger.

The tiger continued growling and kicking out the windows as Clint accelerated to get to their destination faster. "He's coming over the seat!" Natasha yelled as she pushed Steve off of her and climbed to the front of the car to sit on the arm rest. "Clint, hurry up!"

Clint took the exit ramp and turned onto the road Mike Tyson's house was located. Even though it was a private road, Clint floored it and sped down the road until he noticed the open gate in front of Mike Tyson's house. He quickly slammed on the brakes and turned into the driveway. When the car reached the front of the house, the Avengers quickly scrambled out of the car and slammed the doors shut.

"Nat, let me see that scrape," Clint said as he gingerly placed his fingers on her shoulder.

"It's fine Clint. Leave it alone," Natasha ordered as she swatted his hand away.

"You're late," said a deep voice from the front steps of the house. The Avengers turned to see one of Mike Tyson's burly bodyguards standing in the doorway.

"Whatever, we brought your cat back to you," Bruce said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to the car.

"Mr. Tyson would like to see you," the bodyguard said. He waved them forward and the Avengers walked up the steps to enter the house.

"You've got to put that thing to sleep. It's out of control, and my wife hates cats enough as it is," Clint said to the bodyguard as he brushed past him.

Once all of the Avengers were inside the house, the bodyguard closed the door behind them and then led them to the back of the house. Mike Tyson was seated on a comfy white couch in front of a large flat-screen TV. Mike Tyson snapped his fingers and then motioned for the Avengers to join him on the couch in front of the giant TV.

"I checked out the security footage from last night," Mike Tyson said as he grabbed the remote from the coffee table and pressed play. Immediately, black and white footage from last night's events started playing on the screen. The Avengers were stumbling onto Mike Tyson's property, laughing and drinking from beer bottles. Bruce wasn't with them so he must have already hulked out. However, Tony was with them.

"Oh my God, there's Tony," Happy exclaimed, pointing to the screen. "He's okay!"

"What time was this?" Bruce asked, turning to the boxer.

"About four o'clock in the morning," Mike Tyson stated. The Avengers sat in Mike Tyson's living room as they watched the remaining footage from the night before. Clint scratched the back of his head in embarrassment when a part of the footage showed him peeing in Mike Tyson's pool and Steve's face turned red when the footage showed him trying to do _it_ with the tiger in the ass when they were putting it into the back of the police car.

"Did you guys steal police cars?" Mike Tyson asked.

"Yeah," Bruce said sheepishly.

"Nice!" Tyson exclaimed in approval.

"Wait did you say police _cars_? As in, plural?" Steve asked.

"That's what it looks like on the security footage," Tyson said.

"Wow, we stole _two_ police cars," Steve said in disbelief. The TV went black as the security footage finished and the Avengers rose from the couch.

"We can't tell you how much help this was," Clint said. "Thank you."

"Yeah, no problem," Mike Tyson said, waving off Clint's comment. "Try to keep everything under control next time. You especially Green Guy." Mike Tyson pointed at Bruce and Bruce pointed to himself in disbelief.

"Yes you, you practically wreaked havoc on this one cop car early in the morning. Say about six o'clock? You shoved it right into the pyramid at the Luxor. If I do say so myself, he was probably asking for it."

"I can't control what The Other Guy does," Bruce said with a sigh.

"No, but it's kind of cool," Mike Tyson said as he shrugged his shoulders. "It was just one cop though which everyone thought was kind of strange."

"Huh, yeah, that is strange. One cop taking on a giant green monster," Bruce mused.

The Avengers and Mike Tyson stood in the living room awkwardly before Tyson broke the silence. It was getting late and the Avengers realized they needed to get back to Stark Tower, in hopes that maybe Tony had returned. They were ushered out of the mansion by Tyson's bodyguard and Tyson wished them luck on finding the infamous Tony Stark.

* * *

**So Tony was still with them at four o'clock in the morning when they stole Mike Tyson's tiger. Hmmm. Where could he be? For those of you who have seen the movie, you know what comes next. And obviously the ending is going to be slightly different from the movie since Happy woke up on the roof of Stark Tower but things will come together. I just hope I haven't screwed up my own twist ending hahaha.**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Therefore, review away! Let me know what you think of Mike Tyson's appearance, the journey to return Tyson's tiger, and the Avengers finding out more information about the night before.**


	7. Counting Cards

**Alright, I'm trying to crank out as much writing as possible before Saturday haha. In this update, the naked man returns (fully clothed) and there's more Clintasha/Blackhawk. Sorry, I ship them so hard haha. But enjoy anyways!**

* * *

The Avengers sat in silence as they drove back to Stark Tower. The whistle of the wind as it passed through the broken car windows was the only sound that echoed throughout the SUV. Natasha had returned to her position on the arm rest in the front. Despite the tiger not being in the back anymore, she didn't want to sit back there on the ride back to the tower.

The SUV rolled to a stop at a red light on the outskirts of the city. The street was mostly deserted, which meant that a lot of the people were hitting the Strip for gambling and entertainment. A couple of cars passed through the intersection as the light stayed red for the Avengers. Clint leaned out of the car window to crane his neck to see if the opposing traffic was getting a red light soon when he saw the headlights in the side view mirror. They were coming up quick and it didn't look like they were going to stop.

"Shit," Clint growled as he pulled himself back into the car. The moment he grabbed hold of the steering wheel, the car had slammed into the back of the SUV. Instinctively, Clint reached an arm in front of Natasha to keep her from flying through the windshield. The SUV skidded to a halt in the center of the intersection.

"Everyone okay?" Clint asked.

"Umm, yeah, Clint? You can take your hand off of my boobs now," Natasha said, looking down at Clint's arm stretched across her chest. Clint instantly retracted his hand and flushed a deep shade of red. From behind them, Clint heard the sound of a car door slam and the sound of glass from the collision crunching underneath shoes. Clint glanced at his side view mirror and saw the naked man from earlier in the day – now fully clothed – walking towards the car.

When the man reached Clint's window, he stared Clint down.

"Get out. Of the. Car," the man said. Clint and Natasha both stared at him as Steve and Thor leaned forward to get a glimpse of the man. Happy was sitting on the floor of the car again, rocking himself back and forth in the fetal position. As for Bruce, he was desperately trying to keep The Other Guy at bay.

"Now!" the man barked. The Avengers stumbled out of the car to face the man who was ordering them around. The moment Bruce hit the pavement he curled up into a ball to keep himself from changing into the Hulk. The Avengers – minus Bruce – gathered in front of the man to receive whatever beating they were going to get.

"I want my $80,000," the man said bluntly. The Avengers looked at each other in confusion before turning their attention back to the man.

"I'm sorry, you must have us confused with someone else," Steve said.

"No, you have my $80,000! And I want it back!" the man barked.

"I'm sorry but other than earlier today, we've never seen you before," Steve said, shaking his head.

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" the man shrieked in a high-pitched voice.

"Actually, my name's Steve," Steve said.

"It's a reference to _Diff'rent Strokes_, Steve," Clint mumbled.

"Last night, we gambled at the Bellagio together. Then Green Guy comes and attacks me and takes my gambling chips! I want them back!" the man shrieked.

"Well, we don't have it!" Bruce shouted from the other side of the car.

"You have until seven a.m. to get me my $80,000," the man said. "Or your friend gets it." The man pointed to his Cadillac Escalade and seated in the back seat was a man with a bag over his head. Tony.

"Oh shit! Tony!" Happy rushed to the side of the car with the rest of the Avengers in tow. They pounded on the windows and pulled at the car handles, but nothing worked. Clint turned back to the man, who was walking back to his car with his bodyguards on his heels.

"For the millionth time, we don't have your goddamn money," Clint snarled.

"Don't care. Bored now," the man said, feigning a yawn as he slid into the backseat of the car. The bodyguards slid into the front seats and started the car up again.

"Hey! Give us our friend back!" Happy shouted.

The man rolled down the window and stared right at Happy. "Give me my $80,000 and you get your friend back."

"But – ."

"Too-da-loo, mother fuckers!" the man sang as he rolled up the window. The Cadillac Escalade roared to life and sped down the deserted road, leaving the Avengers even more confused as ever.

* * *

"We shouldn't have to deal with this shit! We're the fucking Avengers!" Clint shouted as he flipped over a couch cushion.

"Oh my God Clint, shut the fuck up," Natasha grumbled. When the Avengers had returned to Stark Tower, they immediately began causing more destruction to the penthouse. They had flipped over tables and flung couch cushions to search for the $80,000 in gambling chips. It had been an hour since they got back and they still hadn't had any luck.

"Let's face it. He's probably mistaking us for someone else," Bruce said with his head in his hands.

"Then how is it that he has Tony?" Happy asked.

Bruce shrugged his shoulders. "A lot of people have it out for Tony."

"Well, it's definitely not here," Clint announced as he angrily sat down in a chair. "Where the fuck are we going to get eighty grand?"

The Avengers sat in silence as they contemplated how they were going to get $80,000 by seven in the morning. The only person that could give them $80,000 was currently being held hostage.

"I got it!" Natasha said suddenly. The Avengers looked at her in shock and with wide eyes at her exclamation. She turned towards Clint with wide and excited eyes. "Please tell you still remember how to count cards?"

"Well, yeah," Clint said uneasily. "That's something you're not likely to forget."

"Count cards?" Steve asked.

"It's a strategy used mostly in blackjack to determine whether the next hand is likely to give the player an advantage over the dealer," Natasha explained. "Clint learned it while he was with the Carson Carnival of Traveling Wonders."

"I'm probably a little rusty but once I get into it, I can get it to my advantage," Clint said.

"Is it legal?" Steve asked.

"It's just frowned upon," Clint said, shaking his head.

"Well then," Steve sighed. "We're going to need one hell of a game plan."

* * *

The Avengers showered, changed, and headed down to the casino in Stark Tower to raise hell on the blackjack tables. Over the years, Clint had taught Natasha how to count cards as well so he sent her to a table to scope out the deck. In the meantime, the Avengers kept themselves preoccupied by getting drinks from the bar and playing at the slot machines. After a couple minutes, they went to find Natasha.

She was sitting at a blackjack table on the outskirts of the casino tables. She'd already ordered a drink – some cheap vodka that Clint could tell she didn't care for – and was busy focusing on the deck of cards.

"Is this seat taken Miss Romanoff?" Clint asked, putting one hand on her bare shoulder and the other pointing to the empty seat next to her.

"Not at all. Go right ahead, Mr. Barton." Clint took a seat next to Natasha and waited for the code phrase to let him know what condition the current deck was like. Clint made a mental note to show the rest of his teammates this strategy in the event that they ever got in a situation like this again in the future. Natasha announced the phrase to let him know what condition the deck was like and he let the dealer know that he was in.

Clint wasn't rusty one bit as he kept winning with every hand. Every so often he would lose a little bit so it wasn't obvious that he was basically cheating. However, Clint had lost track of the last time he "lost." Natasha had leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"I think you're being watched," she whispered. Clint's eyes immediately flitted up to the camera perched in the corner of the room.

"We're going to need a distraction if they come for us, Black Widow," Clint muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Natasha to hear. "I'm almost at $80,000."

Natasha turned around in her chair to look at Bruce, Steve, Thor, and Happy. They looked on edge as they watched Clint continue to win and occasionally lose his hand in blackjack. Natasha whistled ever so quietly to garner their attention. When their eyes flitted to her, she immediately nodded her head towards the camera.

"We're being watched," she muttered, then turned back around to focus her attention on the game

Clint was about $100 away from reaching the goal when Natasha spotted two burly guys making a bee-line for their table. "Barton, twelve o'clock," she stated. Clint head snapped up and he spotted the men making their way to their table.

"I just need five more minutes," Clint muttered. Natasha nodded as she grabbed her drink as she got up. She grabbed Bruce by the lapels of his shirt and dragged him along with her.

"Just play along," she muttered out of the corner of her mouth. She fixed his shirt and smoothed it out before taking a swig of vodka from her glass. "Darling, we _must_ go see that new Cirque du Soleil show at the Paris hotel and casino." She had switched to an accent that resembled an uptight gold-digging wife.

"S-sure," Bruce stuttered. "Anything for you."

"Excellent," Natasha purred. "And for dinner, I believe we should – oh no!" As they approached the men, Natasha had feigned tripping, dumping her glass of vodka down the one man's shirt and crashing into the other. The one man had caught her while the other man blotted at the alcohol on his shirt with a napkin a waiter had handed him.

"Oh I'm so sorry," Natasha said innocently. "I'm so clumsy, and these shoes are brand new. I'm trying to break them in."

"That's quite alright. Are you okay?" the man that she crashed into had asked.

"Oh I don't know…" Natasha trailed off.

"Now hold on. I think we should check that ankle of yours. You could've twisted it," Bruce said as he began to play along more confidently. "Gently lower her to the ground."

The man that Natasha had crashed into had gently lowered her to the ground while the man she spilled her drink on knelt down on the floor next to her. Bruce started feigning a medical exam to Natasha's ankle. He gently bent it back and forth while Natasha feigned moans of discomfort.

"Is it okay?" Bruce asked.

"Oh no," Natasha moaned.

"How about this?" Bruce asked as he gently rolled her ankle to the left.

"Oh…" Natasha trailed off as she craned her neck to glance at the table where Clint was sitting. His seat was empty, and he, Thor, and Happy were nowhere in sight. "I think I'm okay."

"I think you are too," Bruce said with a reassuring nod. The two men and Bruce helped Natasha off of the floor as Natasha brushed her dress off. Bruce and Natasha thanked the two men as they sped off to go find Clint, Thor, and Happy, leaving the two men confused as ever.

* * *

**Alright, they've got the $80,000. Now they can get Tony back! Hooray! And I liked writing this chapter so much because of Clint and Natasha knowing how to count cards. I think I smell a new fic brewing. Something involving a mission in Monaco maybe? Anyways, what's going to happen next? Is the nightmare finally over for the Avengers? Stay tuned!**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Therefore, review away! Let me know what you think of Clint's counting cards talent, Tony being kidnapped by a strange Asian man who has a thing for quoting _Diff'rent Strokes_, and Natasha and Bruce creating a distraction to get Clint away from the tables.**


	8. The Deal

**Alright, for those of you that have seen _The Hangover_, you know what comes next. For those of you that haven't, I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Clint, I love you so much right now I could kiss you!" Natasha exclaimed.

The rest of the Avengers were shocked to hear the words tumble out of the red headed agent's mouth and their attention immediately turned to the archer, seated in the driver's seat. Clint had a huge grin plastered across his face but his eyes stayed focus on the road. The Avengers were currently headed to the meeting place outside of the city to give the man that kidnapped Tony his money. Hopefully they'd be out of this mess in just a few minutes.

"I know you guys want this marriage annulled to keep up appearances around SHIELD, but you guys are great together," Steve said from the back seat. Natasha whipped around to glare at the blonde while Clint quickly glanced in his rearview mirror, furrowing his brow in confusion. "You guys are great as partners, but you're even better as a couple. You guys probably didn't get married last night because you were drunk. Well, that was probably part of it, but you probably got married because you got so drunk and your feelings for each other finally manifested themselves."

Natasha glared at the blonde for a couple more seconds before whipping around in her seat to face the road. "So perceptive," she grumbled. Clint chuckled and then quickly glanced to the side to look at Natasha before fixing his eyes back on the road.

The Avengers sat in silence as their SUV barreled down the road. They were so close to having this nightmare finally be over. They would get Tony back and they could finally get the hell out of Sin City. Tony's wedding was in almost nine hours. They still had to deal with the destruction at the penthouse, pack all their stuff up, and get on a plane bound for New York City.

However, the Avengers were on cloud nine at the thought of getting Tony back. Despite the craziness, they had to admit that this weekend was actually pretty enthralling. They stole some police cars. They met Mike Tyson. They won $80,000 in blackjack by beating the system.

"We should do this again, my dear friends," Thor boomed suddenly. The Avengers jumped at Thor's sudden outburst but regained their composure immediately.

"You know what, he's right," Steve said in agreement. "We _should_ do this again. How about next weekend?"

"Yes! I am so down for next weekend," Happy exclaimed.

"Can we just focus on getting Tony back first?" Natasha growled from the passenger seat up front. "Then we can start making plans to get fucked up all over again next weekend."

"Oh wait," Happy said suddenly. "Next weekend's not good for me. One Direction is in town."

Natasha and Clint both snorted a laugh while Bruce guffawed. Steve and Thor both looked at Happy in confusion. Happy just shrugged as if he didn't care that he just admitted that he liked the British boy band.

Clint turned onto a dirt road that led to wide open desert. The road seemed never ending until they reached the man's Cadillac Escalade parked in the wide open space. Clint braked so the SUV could roll to a halt several feet away from the Cadillac Escalade.

The Avengers sat in silence for a couple seconds, waiting for the man and his bodyguards to exit the car first.

"You have to give them the signal," Natasha muttered just loud enough for Clint to hear.

"What signal?" Clint asked, turning towards Natasha.

"The signal to let them know that the deal is on," Natasha clarified.

"Well, what do I do?"

"Flash your lights or something." Clint arched an eyebrow at her and Natasha tilted her head to the side. "Come on Clint. You're talking to a former KGB agent. I know this shit."

Clint sighed as he turned to face forward in his seat. He hesitated to grab the lever to flash the lights but he did so anyways. He flashed the lights twice and waited for the man and his bodyguards to exit their car. A couple seconds later, the doors to the Escalade opened and the man and his bodyguards stepped out of the car.

Clint raised his eyebrows in surprised and glanced over at Natasha, who was shooting him an "I told you so" look. The Avengers hesitated to get out of the car but eventually did. Happy tumbled out of the backseat when he opened the door, which made the man giggle with delight. The rest of the Avengers got out of the car, walked to the front of it, and stood with a decent amount of space between them and the man and his bodyguards.

They stood in silence for a couple minutes, staring one another down in the blazing hot desert, before Steve actually plucked up the courage to actually say something. "Umm, h-how are you this morning?"

"Do you have my money?" the man asked bluntly.

"Umm, yes. Yes we do. But first, I don't think we ever got your name," Steve said politely.

"Mr. Chow. Leslie Chow," the man chirped.

"Ah, okay, Mr. Chow. If you don't mind, would it be okay if we saw Tony first, just to make sure he's alive and well?" Steve asked nervously.

"Of course you can!" Mr. Chow exclaimed. He clapped his hands and chanted something to his bodyguards. One of the men immediately walked to one of the back doors of the Escalade, opened it, and pulled Tony out. He still had the bag over his head but from what the Avengers could see, he looked unharmed.

The Avengers breathed a sigh of relief as the one man dragged Tony to the front of the Escalade to join Mr. Chow and the other bodyguard.

"See, he alright! Now, give me my money, or I shoot him and I shoot _all_ you mother fuckers! And then we take it. Your choice bitches!" Mr. Chow exclaimed.

The Avengers stared at Mr. Chow for a couple more seconds, allowing what he just said to sink in. Happy walked up behind Clint and poked him in the shoulder.

"Well, give him the money, Barton," Happy ordered. Clint rolled his eyes as he carefully tossed the bag containing the $80,000 across the wide open space between the Avengers and Mr. Chow. Mr. Chow squealed as the bag got close to him but his bodyguard caught it without even blinking. The bodyguard searched the bag to make the money was all there.

"It's all there," Clint stated.

"Alright, let him go!" Mr. Chow announced to his second bodyguard. The second bodyguard stepped forward with his arms still locked on Tony. They were about five feet from them when the bodyguard stopped and yanked the bag off of Tony's head.

"Ta da!" Mr. Chow announced. However, the man wasn't Tony. He didn't look anything like Tony. He was wearing a doo-rag on top of his head and his skin was dark. His clothes were unkempt and dirty and his mouth was duct taped shut.

"Hey, no, that's not Tony!" Happy shouted.

"Is this some kind of a joke? Who the fuck is that?" Clint added.

"That is _not_ Tony!" Steve said.

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis? That him!" Mr. Chow chirped.

"Again with this Willis nonsense. My name is Steve!" Steve said.

Natasha swatted Steve in the arm. "That's not Tony," Natasha stated icily.

The bodyguard yanked the duct tape off of the man's mouth and the man yelped. He turned his head to face Mr. Chow. "I told you, you had the wrong guy little boy!" The man turned back to the Avengers and broke free from the bodyguard's grasp. He took a couple steps forward to approach Thor. "Dammit Thor, what the hell have you gotten me into?"

"You know him?" Bruce asked, turning towards Thor. The rest of the Avengers turned their attention to Thor and the man.

"Yes, I believe I do. This is the man that sold me the candy. How are you doing, my friend?" Thor said.

"I didn't sell you no fucking candy!" the man grumbled.

"Wait, he sold you the rohypnol?" Bruce inquired.

"I don't even know what the fuck that is," the man grumbled.

"Who gives a shit!" Clint yelled and turned his attention back to Mr. Chow. "Where is Tony?"

"I _am_ Tony!" the man shouted back.

"Wait, your name's Tony?" Bruce asked.

"Yes, I am Tony," the man said.

"Your name's Tony too?" Bruce asked. Mr. Chow feigned a yawn and signaled for his bodyguards to follow him back to the car.

"Hey, Chow! You gave us the wrong Tony!" Clint shouted.

Mr. Chow stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to face the Avengers. "Not my problem," he said bluntly.

"No, fuck that! You give us our $80,000 back and take him with you," Clint shouted, pointing a finger in drug-dealer Tony's direction.

"Hey, no, come on man. I'll be your Tony," drug-dealer Tony begged, stepping forward.

"Oh yeah okay," Mr. Chow said. "I'll take him back…right after you guys suck on these little Chinese nuts!" Mr. Chow grabbed his crotch and the Avengers cringed.

"How do you like that?" Mr. Chow exclaimed. "So long, gay boys!" He waved as he turned around to get in the backseat of the Cadillac Escalade. The vehicle roared to life and seconds later, Mr. Chow and his bodyguards were driving off into the desert horizon.

* * *

The Avengers stood on the edge of the dirt road as they contemplated what to do next. They still didn't have Tony back and the wedding was in seven hours.

"We have to call Pepper," Happy stated. "Who's going to be the one to do it?"

"I'll do it," Clint volunteered. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and walked off to the edge of the road to dial her number. He hesitated to hit send, but he did anyways just to get it over with. The phone rang twice before a frantic Pepper answered the phone.

"Clint, oh my God! _What_ is going on? Where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out!"

* * *

"Thanks for the lift back to town," drug-dealer Tony said. The Avengers were leaning up against the side of the SUV, watching Clint deliver the news to Pepper that they'd lost Tony. Bruce pushed away from the SUV and turned to face drug-dealer Tony.

"I've got a question for you. How did you end up in Chow's car?" Bruce inquired.

"That crazy Asian kidnapped me yesterday," drug-dealer Tony explained.

"Okay, but why you?"

"'Cause he thought I was with you guys because we were all hanging over at the Bellagio. Don't you guys remember?"

"No. No we don't because some dick drug-dealer sold Thor rohypnol and told him it was ecstasy," Bruce stated bluntly.

"There you go with that word again. What the hell is rohypnol?" drug-dealer Tony asked.

"Wow!" Bruce exclaimed. "You are the world's shittiest drug dealer! For future reference, rohypnol is the date rape drug. You sold Thor roofies!"

"Aw shit, I must've mixed up the bags," drug-dealer Tony mumbled.

Bruce rolled his eyes at the drug-dealer and resumed his place against the car.

"You know, I was just wondering the other day why they're called roofies. Why not floories? You're most likely to end up on the floor than the roof," drug-dealer Tony mused. "Or what about groundies? That's a good name for them?"

"Or how about rapies?" Happy chimed in. Natasha shot him a look that could kill and Happy grew silent.

"Wait Tony, what did you say before?" Steve piped up.

"Groundies."

"No before that," Steve said. "You said you're more likely to end up on the floor than the…"

* * *

"Listen Pepper," Clint said. "I'm really sorry - ." Clint felt someone collide with him and they both went crashing to the ground. Clint's phone ended up a couple feet away from them. Clint coughed and tried to get the air back into his lungs while he saw Steve scramble to grab the phone.

"Hey Pepper, it's Steve," Steve said.

"Oh my God, Steve, tell me what's going on?" Pepper said frantically on the other end.

"Nothing!" Steve exclaimed. "Everything's absolutely fine. Don't listen to Clint. He's probably still drunk from last night. We just finished having a delicious brunch and we're getting ready to leave for the airport."

"Where is Tony?" she asked.

"He is…at the front desk making sure everything is in order at the tower before he leaves. We've got to go. Our car is waiting for us. Goodbye!" Steve hung up the phone just as he heard Pepper started to scream bloody murder from the other end.

Clint shoved Steve in the shoulder as he struggled to sit up. "What the fuck man?"

"I know where Tony is!"

* * *

**Where's Tony? Like I said, my ending is different than _The Hangover_, but I hope it still makes sense haha. I hope you guys will stay tuned. I think I'll have 2 more chapters then this story will be done with.**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Therefore, review away! Let me know what you think of The Deal, Mr. Chow, drug-dealer Tony (or as he is called in _The Hangover_ "Black Doug"), and the Avengers finally figuring out where Tony is.**


	9. Tony's Location

**Alright, ready to find out where Tony is? Here's the penultimate chapter of _What Happens in Vegas_!**

* * *

The Avengers sped down the highway as they raced to get back to the Vegas Strip. Since Steve figured out where Tony was, he had taken the wheel while everyone badgered him about his revelation.

"Do you remember when we were walking down the Strip the morning after our night of drinking?" Steve asked. The Avengers answered Steve and he continued. "Well, remember we saw that police car in the Luxor? Did you guys notice where on the side of the pyramid it was located?"

There was silence as the Avengers tried to recall what the scene of the crime looked like. After thinking it over, Steve could almost hear the _click_ as it finally made sense for his teammates.

"So he's - ," Happy started.

"Yeah," Steve interrupted.

"What made you realize it?" Clint asked.

"Tony," Steve said matter-of-factly. Steve was met with confused expressions. "Not our Tony, Black Tony."

"Hey, easy with that shit, man," said drug-dealer Tony from the back seat.

"Ah we are back! We are back! We are getting Tony back!" Clint said in a sing-song voice.

The Avengers laughed in unison at Clint's ridiculous behavior. But it was true. They had finally figured out where Tony was. Ridiculous as it was, they were going to get him back. They had put him in this position so they were going to get him out of it.

* * *

The Avengers pulled up to the Luxor hotel and they frantically tumbled out of the SUV. When patrons and staff noticed it was the Avengers, they scrambled out of fear. Whatever they had done the night they were drunk, they obviously inflicted a lot of fear into people.

Security made a barricade with their bodies in front of the entrance, but with Thor and Steve in front, they plowed through the security guards and made their way towards the elevators in the lobby. Steve frantically jammed his thumb on the button to call an elevator until it reached the lobby. The Avengers piled into the elevator and Bruce pressed the last button on the panel that would hopefully bring them to Tony.

When they reached the top floor – which was the closest floor to what would be the roof if the Luxor were a normal building instead of a pyramid – it was a complete mess. Glass was scattered about. Wires were hanging from the ceiling. Dust and debris still clouded the area.

Just as they had guessed, the police car was lodged on this floor. The front end was smashed, no doubt from being shoved into the side of the building. The windshield was completely shattered and one of the tires was missing.

"Umm Tony?" Happy called into the vast room.

The Avengers carefully stepped off of the elevator and hoped that the floor didn't give way. It creaked underneath their feet but didn't budge. The closer they moved towards the police car, the more unsteady they could tell the floor was becoming.

"Bruce," Steve said, putting a hand on Bruce's shoulder. "I think you should stay in the elevator. In case the floor collapses, we don't want you to Hulk out."

Bruce nodded in understanding and then retreated into the elevator. He pressed a button to keep the doors open temporarily so he could watch the rest of his teammates rescue Tony.

Slowly but surely they made their way towards the police car. A couple of times they heard the floor creak sickeningly and they all froze in their spots in hopes that the floor would support their weight for just a couple more minutes. When the creaking had stopped, they slowly began making their way towards the police car once again.

"Hey, Tony, if you can hear us, a response would be nice," Clint said.

Natasha smacked him on the arm. "Don't be an idiot."

The Avengers heard a groan as they saw Tony push himself up into a sitting position from passenger seat. He must've been sprawled across the arm rest and the driver's seat. The Avengers had seen him in worse condition, but he looked pretty exhausted by the looks of it. There was a possibility he was probably still hungover despite it being two days after the drinking mishap.

"Hey buddy," Happy said as he weakly waved to Tony.

"Well it's about time you guys came and got me," Tony shouted.

"Sorry, but _someone_," Natasha snapped, glaring at Thor, "drugged us and we couldn't remember anything."

"Drugged us? Is that why I couldn't remember anything when I woke up?" Tony asked.

The Avengers had successfully made it to the police car and were now trying to open the door to let Tony out. When Clint, Natasha, and Happy couldn't get it open, they stepped aside to let Steve pull it off completely. The door came apart from the car with a sickening screech and Steve gently placed it on the floor in hopes that the sudden shift of weight wouldn't cause the floor to collapse.

Tony stumbled out of the police car and struggled to get to his feet. He brushed himself off once he got to his feet and then looked around at his teammates. "Alright, so, who drugged us?"

Immediately everyone's gazes shifted to Thor. Thor shrugged his shoulders once the gazes of his teammates fell on him.

"Figures," Tony muttered. "Anyways, let's get out of here. I've got a girl to marry. What time is it?"

Clint pulled out his phone and pressed a button to light up the screen. His eyes opened wide with shock when he realized what time it was. "Shit, it's almost eleven o'clock! We're not going to make it back to New York City in time!"

"Okay, calm down Legolas. Just call Fury and maybe he can loan us a Quinjet from the SHIELD base here in Vegas," Tony said nonchalantly.

The Avengers grew silent the moment Tony made that statement. There was no doubt that Fury was displeased with them and there was no way he would do any favors for them after what they did to the city of Las Vegas. Not to mention the last time they talked to him he was cleaning up their mess.

"What? Cyclops has more than enough Quinjets. I think he can loan us one to get back to New York," Tony said.

"Yeah, well, you see, the last time we talked to Fury, he wasn't very happy with us," Steve said uneasily.

"So? He's always pissed off at us. What makes now any different?" Tony asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

It was true that Fury was almost always pissed off at one of them, but the fact that all of them had caused the destruction in Vegas was probably what put all of them on his bad side at the moment.

"I mean, if we get Pepper on the phone with him, he won't tell _her_ no. I think Pepper's the only person he's actually terrified of," Tony said.

The Avengers heard a sickening creak. Standing still, they waited for it to stop before unanimously deciding to load onto the elevator. They piled into the elevator and the doors immediately shut.

"By the way, whoever has my phone has to give it back right now," Tony demanded. The Avengers patted their pockets in hopes that one of them had Tony's phone. If they didn't, they most likely left it in the penthouse at Stark Tower.

"Ah! I have it!" Happy said excitedly as he pulled out Tony's phone from his pants pocket.

Tony snatched the phone out of Happy's hand and immediately began dialing a number. The Avengers got anxious when they thought he was calling Pepper. They hadn't talked to her since earlier that morning when Steve had so rudely interrupted the phone call. But when they heard Tony greet Fury, their anxiety spiked even higher.

"Well what do you mean you can't loan us a Quinjet? Do you think Pepper will be pleased that I'm late for my own wedding?" Tony inquired. There was the buzz of Fury's voice as he responded to Tony. "Well, I think you should talk to Pepper." Then, Tony hung up the phone and stood in silence with his teammates.

The silence between them continued until they reached the lobby of the building. Steve was about to open his mouth to say something when Tony's phone rang from his pocket. He whipped his phone out of his pocket and answered it. The moment he put his phone up to his ear, he immediately pulled it out of the way. The rest of his teammates didn't need to know why.

"_Tony Stark, where are you and where have you been all weekend!_" Pepper screeched from the other end. "_Fury just called to inform me that you have been found. What does he mean? What is he talking about? And you better be on your way back to New York!_"

When Pepper had finished her spiel, Tony put his phone back against his ear. "Don't worry, love. Everything's under control, except Fury won't let us borrow a Quinjet to get us back to New York since we haven't left yet."

"_You what?_" she said shrilly.

"Why don't you sort it out with Fury? This is his fault. He wouldn't get us out of this mess," Tony said. He was clearly going to get Pepper on his side in the situation.

"Don't think you're in the clear, Tony," Pepper said and she hung up the phone. Tony hung up the phone and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

"Pepper's got it under control. Meanwhile, let's head back to the tower and pack up," Tony said. He headed out the main entrance while his teammates hesitated to follow him. They knew that even though Tony was basically going to get an earful from Pepper when they got back, they still feared what kind of wrath she had in store for them as well.

* * *

While the Avengers were packing up their belongings, Stark had suits delivered to the penthouse – as well as a dress for Natasha – so that they could begin the wedding the minute they arrived in New York. It was going to be a close call but if Pepper pulled through, they'd be able to make it just in time.

When they were all packed up, Pepper called to tell them that she had managed to persuade Fury to loan them a Quinjet and that they would be leaving from the SHIELD base outside of Las Vegas in 20 minutes. Frantically, the Avengers gathered their suitcases and rushed down to the lobby to get in the limousine that had been on standby for them.

When they had reached the SHIELD base, they grabbed their belongings and loaded onto the Quinjet. Clint dropped his bag and made a bee-line for the pilot's seat. As soon as he buckled up, Natasha took a seat next to him in the co-pilot's seat. Clint watched as she strapped herself into the seat before meeting her eyes with him. She shot him a small smile – just faint enough for only Clint to detect – and then turned her attention to the controls.

Clint turned around to face his teammates. "Are we all ready?" he asked. The Avengers responded to Clint with a round of groans and Clint took it as a yes. "Okay, buckle up. It's going to be a bumpy ride."

* * *

**Tony's safe and they're on their way back to New York. Think they'll make it in time?**

**As always, thank you for adding this to your favorites, signing up for alerts, and reviewing. Reviews are very much appreciated so please let me know what you think!**


	10. The Wedding

**Ugh, I was really bad at updating this story! So sorry! But it's finally finished! Here is the final chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

The Avengers knew they were cutting it close as they headed back to New York City on the SHIELD issued Quinjet. It felt like at least one of them was checking their watches or phones for the time every three seconds. Clint could feel the pressure from his teammates. He was the one piloting the Quinjet so if they didn't make it on time, it would be his fault. He sincerely hoped they made it on time too, seeing as he didn't want to be on the receiving end of Pepper's wrath.

"We're about ten minutes outside of New York, you guys," Clint announced. The Avengers grunted in response but that was about it. As they got closer to New York, the rest of the Avengers freshened up to the best of their ability in the back of the Quinjet. Steve ran a comb through his hair while Tony adjusted his cuff links. Bruce reached underneath his shirt to put a dab of deodorant under each armpit while Thor awkwardly watched his teammates.

"You guys, buckle up. We're going in for landing," Clint announced. The Avengers scrambled to buckle themselves up in the seats in the back. Clint glanced over his shoulder to check to make sure his teammates were buckled up before he started lowering the Quinjet into the middle of Central Park.

It was a rough landing and Clint was pretty sure he damaged some of Central Park's natural landscape but they had a wedding to get to. There was no time to worry about the trees and greenery. The Quinjet shuttered as it landed and the Avengers started to unbuckle themselves from the back. Clint turned off all the engines and opened up the back of the Quinjet to let his teammates out.

Tony, Steve, Thor, and Bruce rushed out of the Quinjet and headed to the Conservatory Garden where they had arranged to have the wedding take place.

"Hey!" a park ranger shouted to the Avengers. "You can't land an aircraft in the middle of Central Park. It's illegal!"

"Fuck you, I'm Tony Stark and I'm getting married in five minutes!" Tony shouted to the park ranger. Clint and Natasha caught up with Thor, Steve, Tony, and Bruce and they raced across Central Park to the Conservatory Garden.

They pushed through crowds of people and stumbled over dog leashes as they got closer and closer to the Conservatory Garden. When they were several feet away, they could spot the tents and the aisle for the wedding. They quickened their pace as they raced towards the garden.

When they stumbled through a crowd of bushes as a short cut, many of the wedding guests stared at them in awe. The Avengers looked around in a daze before heading over to one of the tents to inform the bride and the minister that they arrived. They stumbled into the tent and Tony saw Pepper seated on a chair in her wedding gown, flanked by her parents.

"Hey, sorry, traffic was a nightmare," Tony announced.

"We flew here, Tony," Bruce said.

"Exactly, air traffic. That's always a nightmare," Tony said. "So, umm, yeah. Let's get married."

* * *

Pepper glided down the aisle on the arm of her father as they made their way towards Tony. Her wedding gown was a simple sleeveless cut with lace trim. There was a one foot train that trailed behind her and a short veil was attached to her hair, which was intricately pinned into a bun.

When they reached the end of the aisle, Pepper's father passed her hand over to Tony and he pecked her on the cheek before taking his seat. Pepper stepped forward to stand next to Tony and they turned to face the minister.

"What the hell happened?" Pepper said out of the corner of her mouth.

"Darling, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Tony said.

Pepper snorted a laugh. "Trust me, I think I would."

Tony and Pepper fell silent as the minister continued his spiel. Tony and Pepper recited their vows to one another before exchanging rings. When all was said and done, Tony and Pepper were announced man and wife and Tony leaned in to kiss his blushing bride. The wedding guests and the bridal party applauded the newlyweds as they turned around to face the crowd.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the minster announced. "Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Stark."

* * *

It was later in the evening as the Avengers socialized at the reception at Avengers Tower when Director Fury approached them. They knew they couldn't avoid him forever and it was inevitable to avoid him at the reception since he was a guest. The reception, however, was the last place they wanted to be scolded over destroying Las Vegas.

"Do you have any idea the amount of damage you shitheads did to the city of Las Vegas?" Fury exclaimed.

"A lot?" Steve asked vaguely.

"Look, Cyclops, it's my wedding. Leave us alone," Tony said. The Avengers flinched at the mention of the harsh nickname Tony usually called Fury behind his back. They sucked in a nervous breath as they awaited some form of punishment for Tony from Fury, but he just scoffed.

"Whatever," Fury said before turning to Clint and Natasha. "And you two. I thought you had better morals than to get hitched at a cheap Vegas wedding chapel. You're getting this marriage annulled tomorrow morning."

"Marriage?" Pepper whispered to Tony.

"Ah yes, I forgot to tell you. Legolas and Spidey got hitched," Tony informed his wife.

"Tony," Natasha said as she glared at Tony. "Just because it's your wedding day doesn't mean I won't threaten to maim you."

"Nat, calm down," Clint said before turning back to Fury. "And I'm sorry, sir, but we're not getting this annulled."

"Excuse me, Agent Barton?" Fury said through clenched teeth.

"Yeah, we're not getting this annulled. What's the big deal? You can bury this anyways, right?" Clint asked.

Fury glared at his two best agents before he grunted. "Whatever. If you two get compromised on any missions from here on out, I'm not saving your sorry asses."

"With all due respect, sir, we're already compromised. We have been since the day Loki possessed Clint," Natasha explained with a blank disposition.

Fury looked at his two best agents before shaking his head. "Whatever. Just don't fuck this up." With that, he turned on his heel and disappeared in the crowd of wedding guests.

"Anyways," Bruce said. "I found my camera in a pocket of my suitcase."

"Are there pictures on there?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, and some of them are pretty bad," Bruce said.

"Whoa, okay," Clint said as he got up from his chair. "I think we should just delete them all."

"No way!" Tony exclaimed. "I want to know about our wild weekend in Vegas."

"Yes, I would too," Pepper said icily.

"Sorry, love. This is between me and my teammates," Tony said as he winked at her. "Why don't you find your parents and we'll take more pictures."

Pepper rolled her eyes but strode off into the crowd to find her parents like Tony suggested. Tony turned back to his teammates when he noticed that Pepper was out of earshot. "Okay, how about we look through them once and then delete them?"

"That sounds good to me," Natasha said as she stood up next to Clint. She felt his arm snake around her waist and she stiffened. It was going to take a while for her to remember that they were married and it was perfectly acceptable for Clint to do that. So, she relaxed and Clint pulled her closer.

"Alright, gather around," Bruce announced as he turned on his camera. His teammates gathered around him as he opened up the files of pictures. The first picture garnered a shocked response from the Avengers.

"Ugh!"

"What the fuck?"

"Good Lord!"

"Shit!"

"Fuck!"

"What is this Midgardian contraption that displays these paintings?"

The Avengers turned their attention towards Thor and shot him confused looks.

"Hey, Shakespeare, why don't you take a seat?" Tony said and Thor nodded in response.

Tony returned his attention to the camera as Bruce continued to scroll through the photos from their wild weekend in Vegas.

"Whoa, Barton, I didn't know you could bend that way," Tony said.

"That's a lot of vomit," Steve said, scrunching up his face in disgust.

"Ha! Look, it looks like I'm punching Tyson!" Clint said.

"Barton, who the fuck is that chick that's giving you a lap dance?" Natasha growled.

Bruce scrolled through the rest of the pictures until he reached the beginning of the pictures again. He lowered the camera and glanced at his teammates. "Well?" he asked.

The Avengers looked at one another as they deliberated silently as to what to do.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Bruce said as he raised the camera again and pressed the button to delete all of the pictures on the camera's memory card.

"Well, that settles that," Steve said.

"Yeah, now let's get back to the reception before Pepper murders me," Tony said and his teammates followed him back to join the rest of the guests. As they were heading back, they heard Tony sigh as he said, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

* * *

**Phew! Finally finished it! I know updates were extremely sporadic for this but I hope you guys liked it anyways. I want to thank everyone who added this to their favorites and signed up for alerts. I also want to give a shout out to all of my reviewers: Ninja-on-the-run, mellbell12123, Wolf's Willow, Who Says It's A Rebellion, soccerkeeper6, AerisSerris, Roses Near Rivers, Miss America of the USA, TP, LauraJenCC, Franjipani42, dglsprincess105, Hamsta97, All Hail His Noodleness, Dani585, yolynnjones, Jaymie, Vex Matthewson, jitrenda, StarkObsessed, MummyRules, tweeterslove, agent-HAWKEYE, Jena, and all the guest reviewers.**

**I know it took me forever to finish this but I want to thank you guys so much for reading. It means a lot that people actually read my work. Thank you so much. I love you all!**


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